The Long Way Home
by Pheonie
Summary: Pakunoda's long walk back to the hideout is a path lined only with shadows of the past and the looming of a cold chain around her heart. (Slight Paku/Kuroro)


**I just love Pakunoda, so this is my tribute to her. She's both ruthless and completely compassionate and loyal. So RIP my dear. **

-x-x-x-

"_Paku!"_

_That bubbling, infectious voice made her run faster. She willed her feet to move move move because he was calling for her…_

_She was moving so fast..! She could tell from the way the passing heaps of garbage shuddered in the wind when she zipped past them, and yet she was still too slow._

"_Pakuuuuu! Come on!" Huffing to keep oxygen in her lungs, she willed that strange sort of power she sometimes felt into her little legs, and lo and behold it was swimming in her veins, and she was practically flying!_

_She finally spied the bouncing black hair as she rounded a pile of precariously stacked tires. If the Danchou had been feeling playful, he could have sent those in an avalanche on her! She made a note to be more careful. It was a note she told herself a lot, for the dumps of Meteor City were full of sharp, dangerous, dirty objects… objects that most 7-year olds would never have the misfortune to touch._

_The scrambling form in front of her was racing up a tall pile of sheer glorious junk. It was almost like in slow motion for Paku, how that darting figure put sure step after sure step in his desire to reach the top. The items moved under his feet and were sent clattering to the bottom, but the other wily 7-year old was swift and confident, laughing all the while._

_Ducking quickly to avoid a bucket the other had kicked loose, she also used both hands and feet to steady herself as she chased the other up the mountain._

_It seemed like an eternity, but after a few scrapped knees and a scratch across one palm, she was so close to the boy she could reach out and touch his shoulder…_

_He turned around then, a light dancing in his eyes and he reached to hook a warm arm around her shoulders and usher her close._

"_Paku!" He exclaimed. "Come look." He sat down carefully on a piece of cardboard box and invited her to do the same. His arm was still warm and solid around her shoulders and she never felt so safe before. "The sun's setting." He told her in a matter-of-fact voice._

"_O-oh. It is." She agreed._

"_And here! I don't think I shared any with you yet. I just found it! Something called O-R-E-O." There was a black and white food-looking thing in his palm. He took the two black slices apart and gave her the one with the fluffy white attached to it._

_Curiously, she took it into her hands like it was the most precious thing on earth._

"_What's an Oreo?" she asked tentatively._

"_It doesn't matter, you can eat it!" He said, as he finished his off in careful measured bites. "It's really good." He added._

_She had tried it and he was right. It was sweet and good and perfect._

_The moment was so perfect that she vowed to herself she would never forget it. Here she was with Kuroro, the only person in the whole world that she could trust, and he was showing her a beautiful sunset even as they were surrounded by putrid trash and the waste that others didn't care for. It would be a memory she never forgot, she told herself fiercely._

Memories… Pakunoda paused whilst walking and looked up toward the dark and drizzling sky. That had been the catalyst that lead to her developing her specialist nen ability- the power to manipulate, read, and forever cherish memories. A power both she and Danchou had delighted in for different reasons.

She took a deep breath before continuing on calmly. She was walking towards her death, she knew, but she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Not when she had all these memories… and the knowledge her Danchou was safe. She would tell the others.

Her heart throbbed with a foreign coldness… it was a warning to her treacherous thoughts but she ignored it with passion.

"_Paku!" She loved it when he used her name. It made her feel special and unique and cared for. The voice was angry though, and so she flinched. "Get out of here." The dark-eyed 12 year old was deathly serious as he glared at her. "Hurry. GO."_

"_I won't leave you here. Not with them." Paku whispered fiercely. "I won't! Let me fight with you… please!" She begged him, but he was resolute._

"_Paku." He said intently. "You have 10 seconds. They're going to be here any second."_

"_No!" She got ready in her battle stance, the one she had been using ever since her earliest memory of crawling through the dumps of Meteor City. Within her body, she could feel that strange feeling again… the one that powered her fists with she punched and tingled through her legs when she ran and seemed to envelop her in an embrace as warm as the one Danchou always gave her._

_He growled with displeasure and she could see his mind made up in a second. He rounded to another boy with them. "Franklin. Take Paku and run."_

_The round, but big boy looked stunned. "But if I go, you'll be by yourself."_

"_I said." The dark-haired boy hissed dangerously. "Take Paku and run. That's an order!"_

_There was no arguing with Danchou when he used that tone of voice so Franklin sheathed his weapons, slung Paku expertly over his shoulder, and took off running towards home base._

_And even though she screamed and fought, she couldn't break through the giant boy's gentle but firm grasp. She could only watch in horror as the approaching Mafia members in their sparkling crisp suits walked up to Kuroro and lifted their weapons…_

_When Danchou finally came back to their home base, he was covered in blood, but as their little family soon discovered, none of it was his._

_No one really questioned the dark-eyed boy after that._

"You always knew what was best for us, Danchou." Paku said to herself even as tears filled her eyes. The little boy that had started life so energetic and lively had retreated into a shell that was cold and efficient. She knew it was all for their sakes… for the spider that they together were. Her heart ached terribly.

"For once, Danchou, let me do something for you." She touched her heart, and she fancied she could hear the rattle of the snaking chain.

He would, of course, be furious with her. He would be so, so angry. _And I wish I could be here for you to lecture me… but I won't._

The shadows in the alleyways she passed seemed to jump out at her as she passed them, but they were nothing but old memories. As she stared into a puddle at her reflection she nearly broke down. This creature known as Pakunoda would be _nothing_ within the hour.

"_We're taking them on." Kuroro said seriously._

"_The Mafia? Seriously? What can we do, we're just six people!"_

"_It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but it will be eventually." Kuroro promised vehemently. "They've exploited our city long enough. They force upon us opium and diamonds and they call that even compensation for our life blood."_

"_How are we going to do that?" The youngest in the group, a girl named Machi, asked._

"_We're going to get stronger. We're going to understand what this strange power is…" With a fist, Kuroro released a shock wave of power that all of them felt down to their bones._

"_Sounds great!" Uvogin, their resident muscle head, smiled toothily._

"_We're going to be a spider." the other continued saying. "A 13-legged spider that never dies. I will be the head. You will be the legs, but that doesn't mean my life is more important than yours… remember! The Spider must survive. WE must survive. Always._

"_We will take the world by storm. We'll take what we want, what we deserve, and we'll never sleep hungry again."_

Paku felt the lump in her throat again when she remembered Danchou's words. She had deliberately disobeyed him: she had betrayed the spider to save his life. She would do it again in a heartbeat… but she wished the man would just understand! She wished she could tell him the feelings in her heart that she had been harboring for so long. She wished she could… tell him a proper goodbye.

She felt the tears well up again. Their last meeting crushed her.

_She could see Danchou wreathed in chains and struggled not to let how she felt about that show on her face. She was always good at reading his face, though, and currently, he was saying. "Listen carefully, Paku. He's about to show his weaknesses." He smiled at her, and she felt awful knowing that he was 100% confident she would do as he expected… when she knew she was going to do the opposite. She tore her gaze away._

"_Pakunoda. Are these terms acceptable to you?" She could hear the venom dripping off the chain-assassin's voice and knew that this man was on the brink of self-destruction. She would never risk it. She would die before she let her Danchou die on her watch._

"_Yes." She said resigned. She watched as Kuroro's eyes widened and he stared at her in his own pleading way. He looked so, so disappointed in her. She didn't let her heart clench. _

_Don't be so quick to want to die! She wanted to rage at him._

_Later, when she exchanged the two children for him, he had brushed past her without even making eye contact, and she knew he was furious that she hadn't brought the entire troupe in a fiery blaze of battle._

"Danchou… you probably don't think I'm going to break the vows of the judgment chain at this point, but I am. I'm going to do it so everyone knows the chain-assassin's weaknesses so this can never happen again to one of us… but please. Let the vengeance die… with me."

And later, when she fired her nen bullets into the minds of the other members, she felt peace. Complete peace. All her longing, all her feelings, all of _her_ would live on through the spider.

So when she hit the ground, she felt nothing.

-x-x-x-

**Sooo that turned out a little more angsty that I intended, but that's how I see Pakunoda. I just love her for her sacrifice even though I'm an inner KuroKura fan. SOBSOB. Anyway, please leave a comment if this little snippet meant anything at all to you, this piece is dear to my heart. Thank you!**


End file.
